I'm so drunk
by xxX.Heart-of-Words.Xxx
Summary: A birthday party sets up two bestfriends for a big fued! And Max is the problem! Will Fang and Iggy come to their senses or will they never be friends again? Fax! Miggy! Who will win Max's heart? Eggy and some Sax!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So you are all probably thinking…"Another story! Couldn't you at least update Why? or TMTYTL! No you have to go and do another story…I'm mad at you now!' Yeah I'm sorry but if you're going to not read this because of that the gtfo! And if I get hate mail then I'm going to not update for a long while!**

**Now deal with it.**

**IDNOMR!**

***Iggy***

This will be the best birthday bash EVER! I mean he will be so speechless! He might even let one rip right then and there when we all jump out and scream surprise!

Okay maybe we should back track…My name is James Griffin, I like bombs, like, a lot so my friends call me Iggy. Max and Gazzy even take it further by calling me Igster. Yeah they are weird but my closest friends!

Gazzy, nickname with a, um, odorous backstory. Basically he has digestive problems and well. You get the picture. He is around 5'11' and is 15, well today he is 15. He has short spiky hair that is light blond with blue tips much like my strawberry blond and green tipped hair. He also has big blue eyes compared to my milky blind ones.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I'm blind.

Then there is Max. Oh god, Max. She is an easy 5'10", just four inches shy of me and one of Gazzy. She has wavy honey blonde hair with natural brown and red and light blonde streaks. She has an athletic body that quite frankly, though I would never admit it, was so hot! Curves in all the right places yet skinny but not anorexia skinny. She also had the most beautiful milk chocolate eyes; I could look into them all day and still find a different shade of brown or gold. She is also the same age as me 16! Yeah I kind of really like Max if you hadn't already guessed.

Then there was Max's friend Nudge who was African American with mocha colored hair that was super curly and somewhat untamed. She was in Max's grade and was only two or three inches shorter than her. She also talked…a lot! Hence the name Nudge, though we weren't good enough friends for me to know her real name, but its whatever.

And finally the siblings!

Bubbly Angel was Gazzy's photo copy with bouncy and boisterous blonde curls. And bright blue eyes. She was also very adorable yet when she wants to show can be evil and devious. Which makes here a double threat in this circumstance were it is a _surprise_ party. As in it needs to be kept quiet.

Then there was my older brother Ari. He had sandy blond hair and green eyes. Ari was in college and only came home on holidays so I don't see him very often. Not that I mind because all he does is tease me and mooch off our parents.

And Finally we have Ella; she has brown hair and brown eyes and is Hispanic like her and Max's mom only Max has a different dad. She is also a pretty good dancer and you will almost 95 percent of the time find her in their dance studio at their house.

Of course you probably want to know how I know all this since I'm blind. My friends tell me. And I just recently became blind, like, legit a year or two ago in an accident with a bomb of mine.

Unfortunate I know but I cope and it isn't that bad when you get passed it and learn more about your surroundings.

So back to what is going on now. I'm planning Gazzy's birthday party with the help of Max of course. It will be spectacular! It is really more like a block party actually. Our whole neighborhood will be closed off and bounce houses and carnival rides will take it over. Almost all of the town will be coming because Gazzy is just that well known; I'm also inviting our friends from lacrosse camp and soccer cam that we have kept in touch with as well as our family from other states and towns.

It will be epic. See Gazzy walks home from soccer practice with Max who returns from her volleyball practice as well, when they get to the edge of our road I will set off a few fireworks and everyone will scream happy birthday. Told you it will be epic.

_Wait! How did you find the money for this? _Our parents defiantly aren't poor. And they all pitched in! I mean, Gazzy deserved it! He is such a good kid.

"Iggy who did you invite from camp?" Max asked with a look of pure concentration etched onto her face. The guest list was sitting in front of her in all of its seven paged glory.

"Um just Fang and Dylan," I said in complete nonchalance. Which was a total lie, I could not _wait _to see them! Going to get my bros back!

And Fang even said his parents were looking for reality for a summer home or maybe even a permanent thing. So I could get my bro back for good! Or at least over the summer.

"Okie dokie!" Max. "That the last of the guest list! What's left?"

"We have to pick up Fang from the airport in an hour and then run to the bakery to check on all thousand cupcake trees," I said, with a slight smile gracing my face.

"So what's first?" she inquired quizzically.

"First we pick up Fang, then we will run to the bakery and then we have to stop at the circus, carnival hang out thingy," I said. So close. We are only twenty four hours from the biggest birthday party we have ever thrown…and last year Max got her own private cruise with everyone in her family and all her friends.

"Okaaaaaaay," she said with slight attitude, "what about that Dylan kid? And while we are on the subject of those two guys, who the heck names their kid Fang?" I could practically hear the contortion of her face as she said it.

"It is a nickname, genius."

"Well than it's a pretty stupid one," She claimed.

"He got it at camp when we were twelve for getting in a fight and knocking out all of his opponents front teeth," I said with a satisfied smirk.

"But I can do that! How come I don't get a completely ridiculous yet still total bad butt!" Yeah, Max has a no cuss policy but if she is pissed enough she will let out a string of choice four letter words that would make a sailor cry.

"Because you didn't go to camp and screw up someone's face," I said matter-of-factly, "now go grab the keys we have to go to the airport!"

And with that we left to pick up my competition, and possibly Max's future boyfriend.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am a wreck. But it has me at the top of my game, which is good for you guys. I have other stories out if you guys want to check those out.**

**IDNOMR! (or Skype)**

**~Fang**

_**Ding! You may now exit the plane, be sure to grab any carry-ons and loose bags. Thank you for flying Arizona Air! **_

Here I am, getting off a plane that had departed from Massachusetts a mere five hours ago. I'm all alone now, independent at only 16. My parents wouldn't be here for three more days. Well after Gazzy's birthday party.

I couldn't believe that after three years I would be standing here Phoenix, Arizona, waiting for my best friend Iggy to pick me up. It was surreal, the boys and I had only known each other for six summers and then we were to old to return and since then I have only been able to Skype and text them.

_**Brrr. Brrr.**_

I retrieved my cell phone from my pocket and opened up the new message, flipping my onyx hair out of my deep brown, almost black eyes.

_From: Iggy_

_Wass'up bro! Max and I are waiting for you in terminal 8! Hurry up!_

_#YouMadBro?_

Oh Iggy, you and your stupid signatures. Texting a quick reply I hurried to baggage claim and rushed through the traffic to get to terminal 8… I think.

_I thought he would be here with his buddy_, I thought as I looked around for Iggy and this Max guy. What! Iggy had to have gotten here somehow!

"FANGLES!? Fangles where are yoooou?" I heard a familiar voice speak.

_What the, where is that lunatic. OH GOD! IGGY! No!_

Standing in the middle of the terminal, holding a neon pink poster board with ribbons attached, was Iggy. Standing at an easy 6'3" Iggy towered over me by an inch.

"Lovin' the board moron," I said with a smirk, the board read 'Welcome back Fangles! I missed you my love!', classic Iggy.

"Really? I was thinking more ribbon or glitter but Max said we didn't want to draw too much attention," he pouted, a look of moch hurt across his face.

"Oh lord, he probably thinks I am gay now! Iggy why!? the last thing I need is for your friend to think I am going to hit on him," I said in embarrassment, though you couldn't really tell.

"Gosh Fang! Breaking the word barrier I see! Max is in the car so we have to her up before the beast gets pissed," Iggy said as he began maneuvering between people.

"Iggy how did you even get here?" I questioned. He is blind so how he made it to terminal 8 stumped me.

"I got a shuttle to the door and a guide walked me in! Now onward my dark unicorn! We need to get to the shuttle now!" And like the wind, we ran to the shuttles cool air-conditioned cab.

Taking a quick ride to parking lot 7B we began to search for the red and black Camaro as Iggy so crazily explained.

After looking around I took mere seconds to find the car in question. Only there was a rather hot babe leaning against the car.

"Iggy!"

"What?"

"There is a really hot girl soaking up some sun on our ride!"

"Does she have brownish-blonde hair and a rocking body?"

"Um I guess," I answered bewildered. I was so wrong, this girl, no, this woman was beautiful. Curves in all the right places and a thin athletic body, she was wearing black skinny jean capris with a red off the shoulder shirt that said 'Bite Me' in big black print. She was also wearing practically the same all black aviators I had on and some killer heeled sandals.

"Oh! That's Max, she probably looks a little better today than ever because her friend and sister dressed her," he said in a 'ah durr' tone. _That _is Max?

_Fang you are going to hae one heck of a week!_

Time to meet the friend!

**~Max**

I watched through my sunglasses as Iggy and another guy approached the car. Wow, that is the only word I could use to describe this kid. Black hair spilled from his head and just barely left his neck as a single chunk flopped over a pair of aviators similar to mine. Tall and well built, his olive skin was decked off with black jeans and a black t-shirt that was tight enough to show strong, toned biceps.

Only an inch shorter than Iggy, they neared me as Iggy came to stand beside me. Standing in front of me, the boy gave a curt nod and introduced himself.

"Sup, I'm Fang," he said as he took off his glasses to show deep brown eyes that practically melted into his pupil.

"I'm Maximum, but if you enjoy life then you can call me Max!" I said with a slight smile. Smirking Fang looked down at my car.

"This baby yours? Very nice for a girl," he said, as if to show I had earned my respect.

"Why yes she is. I don't drive her that often though. I prefer my bike," I said, referring t my black Kawasaki that I used as a daily ride to and from school and practice.

"Cool," And with that, and a cheery clap from Iggy, we got in the car and headed home.

**Sorry it is so short but I have to save the good stuff!**

**I mean, just wait for the humor I have in mind for the next chapter!**

**At least **_**I **_**think it is funny…**

**Review? I already have the next chapter finished! **

**You decide when it gets posted!**

**1 review= Wednesday**

**3= Tuesday**

**5= Monday**

**7= Tomorrow!**

**If I can get 11 reviews than I will post it tonight round 6 p.m!**

**Heart:]**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I tried my hardest to seem slightly funny. Well I mean, my friends laugh at this stuff!**

**IDNOMR! (Or any other brands/names I mention)**

**~Max**

When we got home, it was bad. And that was me sugar coating it.

Somehow at the end of the night I ended up with gum in my hair, spaghetti covered kids sleeping on top of me, and I had lost any enjoyment of Scooby-Doo.

And it all started with the flock, that's what we call our group of friends just don't ask, making it into my garage while no one was home or around to let them in.

**~Vote Pedro the pickle for office! Hola! I am Pedro and I announce time skips! And line breaks! Bubye now! ~**

As we pulled into my drive way I looked back into the back seat to see Fang and Iggy sleeping against each other. _Heheha! Blackmail! Oh this is defiantly going to be the happy couples Christmas card!_

Opening the garage door I expertly drove into my spot without hitting anything. Nudging the boys to wake up I watched as they sleepily woke and then tore apart from each other with lightning quick speed.

"We are _not _gay!" They proclaimed as the panted and got out of the car. For the rest of the trek to Iggy's door they stood a good three feet apart.

Placing Fang's things in Iggy's guest room we decided to go back over to my place so that Fang could hang out with Iggy in the theater while I practiced in the dance studio.

Entering the house, we each branched off to separate stair cases. My house had three levels and an attic, the basement was split into an art room for mom, office for dad and a theater for all of us. The ground level was the living room, kitchen, dining room and laundry. The second floor was bedrooms; a master suite, two good sized bedrooms for Ella and I and two guest rooms as well as a seating area wear the stairs let off. At the end of the hall was a big bay window and a door leading onto a balcony that wrapped around to the back of the house. Situated between the two rooms Ella and I used was a stair case that separated the rooms and lead into our attic was completely renovated when we moved in. It was now a dance studio where we danced and where Ella rotated off classes with me for younger kids.

We were pretty good dancers, Ella good at ballet and ballroom while I was good with street, jazz, tap, ballet and any hip hop dance. We had been dancing ever since we were little and though Ella surpassed me due to having more time, I could easily still place first in my age group.

Taking the stairs two at a time I walked down the hall and entered the studios sitting and check in room. Walking through a door next to the desk, I entered the dressing room and changed. As I finished lacing up my ballet flats I walked out into the studio.

_Huh, it's dark in here. I thought I kept the blinds open, _I said as I flipped on the lights.

Ella, Nudge and Angel jumped out from their places around me and began shooting me with water guns.

_GAHH! It is so on! _

"This. Is. SPARTA!" Nudge cried out as she produced a water balloon that I quickly dodged, turning I watched as it hit Angel dead on and got her soaked.

Laughing I began to dodge balloons and weave my way to the other side of the studio where we kept a cabinet full of party stuff for celebrations for our younger groups. Producing cans of silly string I began to squirt them mercilessly.

"Eat silly string noobs!" I cried exuberantly.

"WAIT!" Ella screeched, throwing her hands up as a signal to stop.

"Ladies we shouldn't use our evil ways on each other!" She said mischievously.

"The boys are down stairs," I said smiling.

"I have a few smoke bombs in my bag Gazzy gave me!" Angel cried happily.

"And we have water guns and silly string at our dispense!" Nudge added. We looked at each other until a thought popped into my head.

"Hey, where is Gazzy? I didn't see him," said, scanning down the stairs for him.

"Oh! He is over at Iggy's rigging the guest room and Iggy's room! When Fang and Iggy walk in they will be in for a major surprise!" Angel giggled at her brothers evil antics, effectively making her even more adorable.

"Ha! Angel you and your brother crack me up! You are the coolest twelve-year-old ever," Nudge called out. _Hmm, Nudge is quieter today. Wonder why? _

"Cool! So are we ready to do this thing, or are we ready to do this thing!?" I called out as I quietly rallied the girls down the steps and onto the main level.

I looked around to make sure no one was upstairs in the kitchen or watching TV in the living room before I shushed the girls and began the descent into the theater. Reaching the landing I tip-toed down the hall way and slowly slide the door open.

Entering the theater we quietly crept over to the top row of chairs and sat down, placing our weapons in the perfect aim positions.

As Iggy reached over out for some candy he focused on the screen, intently listening to the movie.

"Oh wow, I can hear the amazing action going on," Iggy said, voice just barely making it over the noise of the movie. Fang looked over as if he was realizing his friend couldn't see the movie for the first time.

_Geez, this will be so easy, _I thought as Fang quickly described what had happened. Just barely pressing it in, I pulled the trigger to my water gun and got a little bit of water onto Iggy's head.

"What was that!?" Iggy said franticly, as he touched the top of his head.

I looked down the aisle the girls and I were on and saw the girls were just barely controlling their raging laughter.

Giving them the signal, we squirted the guys a little bit throughout the rest of the movie. Finally, when the movies ended and the lights went up, Fang and Iggy got up to refill their popcorn. We crouched down in the aisle and when the boys were only inches away I screamed out the most horrifying war cry you would ever heard.

"ATTTTTTTACK!" I heard Ella scream out as we piffled, and stuck the boys will ice water and silly string.

"Ahh!" I heard Iggy scream as I hit him upside the head with a balloon. Fang was just as shocked as he began to try and dodge our attacks.

Their efforts were futile to say the least, and at the end of our barrage, when water guns and silly string cans ran dry, we were reduced to a fit of laughter while Fang and Iggy marched back to their house to change.

As we followed them up the stairs and into Iggy's hallway, Gazzy crept from the bathroom and joined us as both boys entered their respective rooms.

Only to rush back out covered in eggs, glitter, and colorful craft feathers in the dashing colors pink and purple.

_Oh gosh! This is the end! It can't get any funnier than this! _

It did, as we retreated to Iggy's living room we waited for the boys to come back down in a change of clothes. Only to slip on some remaining egg and water. As the two buffoons fell, we all sat stunned for a moment.

Whelp, moment up! We broke into even more laughter as they slowly got up and walked over to us. Very pissed of looks plastered to their faces.

"What the heck guys!" Iggy whined as he took the spot on my left.

"That was –laugh- so –laugh- freaking –laugh- funny –wheeze-"Gazzy sputtered as he began rolling around in his spot on the floor.

"I second that!" Ella quipped, turning red with laughter.

"Count me in!" Nudge hollered from the chair. Angel was laughing so hard that all she could do was give a thumbs up.

"Was not," Fang calmly stated as he joined Iggy and I on the sofa. Iggy visibly tensed and put his arm over my shoulder.

_What was that about, _I thought as I calmed down a little bit. Iggy got a message and began texting, leaving us to flip on the TV and watch some Scooby-Doo.

"Hey guys! My parents won't be home until tomorrow, their plane has be delayed. They said you could stay over though!" Iggy said as he finished listening to his text. Yeah Iggy had mastered the art on Siri and now texted via listening and speaking.

"I'm in," I said as I leaned back into Iggy's side. He looked down at me, looking a little bit off the side at my ear, and smiled.

The flock all agreed to stay and Iggy got up to go make dinner. Iggy's pasta was to die for.

_Geez Max!? You're going to let the blind kid cook?_ Iggy has some mad kitchen skills my friend, and I burn water. So yes, annoying reader, Iggy was cooking.

As we finished off another episode of Scooby-Doo Iggy gathered us up and we went into the dining room to eat.

Making small talk we all finished our spaghetti and left Iggy and Fang to catch up, aka do dishes. Yeah I know, I have no manners at all. It is all buried in a deep grave, dead and gone.

As we left the two alone we left to watch more Scooby-Doo.

"You know, if you think about this show in real life, Fred is one of those clingy douches, Daphne is a whore, Velma will probably become a lesbian and Shaggy is a stoner that talks to his mentally unstable dog," Gazzy proclaimed with a concentrated look on his face. _Ouch! Right in the childhood, _I thought, wincing at his word choice in front of Angel.

All of a sudden there was shouting in the kitchen. About none other than me.

**~Fang**

I watched quietly as Max ushered everyone out of the dining room and into the living room.

As I gathered up empty plates and the remaining spaghetti I followed Iggy into the kitchen.

"Is Max single?" I asked, curiosity having nagged at me enough to ask.

"Yes, but you can't go out with her," Iggy stiffened and began to scrub plates harder, handing them up for me to wipe dry. Being told no angered me.

"And why is that?" I said, annoyance edging into my voice.

"Because Fang, I really like Max and she means a lot to me. I imagine you have girls crawling all over you back home. I don't, she is the only girl here that even notices me now! Ever since…" Iggy trailed off.

"Ever since my accident," he finished. I felt bad all of a sudden. But then got mad all over again because of what he had said about 'all the girls back home'.

"Iggy! I realize you might think that but I know that out there, is a girl that has had a crush on you for what seems like forever!" I said, and I was right, Ella had that look, and she only gave it to Iggy.

"Haha, yeah right," he spat out, "it's pathetic. You lay eyes on one girl here that hasn't swooned over the great Fang and now you _have _to have her." Iggy's mood had deteriorated by now.

"Hey man! Don't jump on me because _someone _doesn't have the balls to ask her out!" I said, voice beginning to raise.

Iggy snapped at that. He shoved his hand into the pasta bowl and threw spaghetti at me.

"JUST STAY AWAY FROM HER!" He continued to throw and I continued to pick it off of myself and throw it back.

Then, as if the Queen herself strode in and demanded attention, everything stopped. In between Igg and I was Max.

"Listen here! I don't quite know what you two pansies are fighting about but it needs to stop!" She yelled, superiority clearly ringing in her tone of voice.

Iggy and I backed down and returned to the living room with Max. Sitting down on the floor, Max took a seat right between us as Nude got up and popped a movie in.

**~Max**

As the movie came to close I looked around at the sleeping figures around me. Nudge and Gazzy were fast asleep on the couch above me. Angel was reclined in the chair and had her face dug into the soft suede cushion while nearby Ella lay softly snoring on the love seat.

Switching the TV off I cuddled between Fang and Iggy who both had an arm wrapped around either my shoulders or waist.

As I feel asleep all I could think about were the two boys and how amazing this day was…

**Me hoped you liked! I tried my hardest to deliver funny or just fun to read.**

**And I have actually attacked my friend's brother and his friend like that! It was soooo funny!**

**Well I should probably go write some more!**

**Check out my other two stories! Why? and Two Months, Two Years, Too Late are my most popular! If you want a winged story then check out want you back which I will update soon! And if you read Virals like good little minions than go check out Just Stay Out of Trouble.**

**Hope you guys have a great week!**

**If you review more you will read more! More than 4 reviews ups the update by two days!**

**Heart:]**


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